PASEO Program Adventure—Day 31: Huanchaco y El Porvenir, Peru

This morning (last Monday), we started the second half of our program with a class on Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT, or Terapia Contactual Dialéctica in Spanish). DBT believes that people are doing the best they can, but that we can always do better. And if you really think about it, we can do better in any given aspect of our lives- especially in areas we are trying to work on. Trough acceptance, mindfulness, and distress tolerance, the aim is to attain emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.

A big tenant of DBT is Mindfulness, which centers on paying attention in the present moment without any judgments. While at first glance, we may think this is a simple concept, imagine how quick we are to judge different situations we face on a daily basis. The trick here is to put these judgments aside and observe the present moment we are living in and experiencing, both willingly and willfully.

We learned about three different types of minds, so to speak that are important to understand- really in any area of life if you find yourself communicating with others. Some people think with a rational mind (often times parents), others think with an emotional mind (often times adolescents), and others think with a wise mind. None of these are bad or worse than any other, but it’s important to understand that we each make decisions differently. Not everybody thinks alike, and in general, if we can try to understand this concept, we may find that we can work together more easily to come to agreements and find solutions.

After class, we had our weekly meeting with a group of local women and family members in El Porvenir that I spoke about in prior posts. Each week, two students from the program are responsible for teaching the group members relaxation and emotional regulation techniques for them to utilize at any given moment and teach others in their community. This week’s topic focused on effective communication, because often times, this is a skill that each of us can improve upon.

Think about it. How many times do you get home and have your parent/child/significant other “nag” you about something you did or didn’t do? And how many times do we do the same to those around us? While we may like to think that accusations, assumptions, and commands are part of effective communication, unfortunately they aren’t.

In the group, we discussed ways to empower the participants to express themselves more openly, because often times they may not have the opportunity to do so.

Effective communication is as simple as: 1. Describe the situation, 2. Express how the situation makes you feel, 3. Recognize the good intentions or feelings of the other person, 4. Ask/Make the request of what you would like the other person to do.

If we can feel validated for our effort or intentions as opposed to feeling guilty for possibly making a mistake or forgetting something, we’ll likely try that much harder and work with the other person to get the job done as opposed to arguing back and shutting down.

Even though these steps sound beyond simple, it takes practice to build effective communication, but it’s a worthwhile skill that can take us very far in any kind of relationship.

PASEO Program Adventure—Days 26 and 27: Huanchaco, Peru

I decided to combine Wednesday and Thursday’s posts together since both days were mainly spent focusing on classes- Spanish Grammar and Motivational Interviewing in Spanish. 

Seeing as the first half of the trip ends this upcoming weekend (last weekend), I figured now would be a good time to mention that while I was supposed to originally leave after four weeks (this past Saturday), I decided to stay an extra month to complete the second half of the program. There’s still a lot of work to be done here (both personally and physically). Our site responsibilities will be changing next week (which I’ll discuss in upcoming posts), and we’ll be taking new classes, still with the same focus of learning Spanish for the mental health setting. 

Besides, when the food here is as good as it is with meals costing less than 5 dollars, laundry (washing, drying, and folding) costing less than 7 dollars, a monthly gym membership with a personal trainer costing less than 30 dollars, great friends (which is priceless, and surprisingly free), and both the beach and an incredible bakery less than a block away from where I’m living, I’d say life is pretty good. So here’s to another month of exciting adventures, new experiences, and more reading material for you to enjoy the next time you go to the bathroom. 

PASEO Program Adventure—Day 25: El Porvenir, Peru

This morning (Tuesday), we began the day with our Spanish for Mental Health class. Shortly after class, we traveled to El Porvenir to host another workshop for teachers and school administrators at one of the city’s local public schools. 

We start each workshop with the same question: What made you decide to become a teacher? Often times, (if you haven’t already realized) when you work in a field with little recognition when so many societal barriers are stacked against you, it’s easy to forget what motivated you to get into that particular field. It’s interesting to hear how each individual found their way to become a teacher- whether it was by choice or because everyone in their family before them was a teacher too. Regardless of how they ended up in this profession, each individual described the same goal, and that is wanting to make a difference in the lives of their students. 

The teachers discussed the hardships of maintaining their students’ attention in the classroom, mainly due to the fact that so many of them have to work night shifts in order to help bring in some extra money for their families. It’s difficult to know that majority of these students face a variety of obstacles outside of the classroom- most of which are outside of our control. However, what helps offer the slightest sliver of peace is the fact that there are so many selfless teachers willing and able to support these children in any way possible. It is our hope that these workshops will help those in the educational field better understand some of the difficulties that their students are facing so that an even greater amount of support can be fostered between the students and teachers. 

 

PASEO Program Adventure—Days 19 and 20: Huanchaco, Peru

To spare you from boredom, I decided to combine days 19 and 20 into one post, since both days were fairly uneventful (or at least for you probably, anyways). On Wednesday, we had an intensive Spanish grammar course, where we reviewed various Spanish tenses and conjugations. There’s nothing to boost your confidence of believing you know another language like reviewing various conjugations and verb tenses. (That was a joke. I can think of 100 other things to boost one’s confidence with regards to knowing another language as opposed to what we did). But of course, it’s good practice, and it’s necessary to know and relearn, so I’ll leave my complaints at that.

Yesterday, we started the day with our Motivational Interviewing course in Spanish, which was also interesting and beneficial, but I’ll talk more about this in a later post. Since yesterday was Teacher’s Day in Peru, our first workshop with local teachers had to be postponed. What a concept—actually celebrating and appreciating those who help impact the future generation. Yesterday was a day spent catching up on homework, procrastinating from writing blog posts, and dedicating the evening to eating delicious papas rellenas once again.

While I’ll write about today’s adventure on Monday, I figured I’d keep you posted about what’s going on in real time. We’re currently getting ready to leave for Cajamarca, a city in Peru’s northern highlands. We’ll be hopping on a bus, which should take somewhere between 6-8 hours, so that should be an exciting new adventure. You’ll also have an exciting adventure this weekend, as I won’t have Internet access to post any updates, so here’s hoping we both enjoy our weekends off from one another.

Sorry—I’m rushing to leave, so I don’t have time to edit the sarcasm, but I do hope you enjoy your weekend! I figured a nice statement would make up for everything you read prior to that. 🙂

PASEO Program Adventure- Day 11: Alto Trujillo, Peru

This morning started with a class focusing on Spanish for the mental health setting. After class, I traveled to Alto Trujillo to complete another observation for a different school. In order to get to the school, we had to take two different busses and a shared taxi cab. As I exited the taxi cab, my cell phone must have fallen out of my pocket. However, I didn’t realize that it was missing until the cab drove off. By now, someone must have either picked up my phone and switched the sim card so they could use it, or the person must have sold it by now. Either way, I was kind of hoping that whoever took my phone would continue writing blog posts for me so I would be off the hook, but that has yet to happen. For this reason, I still don’t have a photo for today’s post, and you’re still stuck with me.

Upon doing the evaluation for a primary school classroom, a psychology intern for the school approached me and started talking about difficulties she has come across while working with some of the children. As many of the teachers from other schools already explained, she mentioned that it’s difficult to generally expect children to act any way other than aggressive when that is the type of environment they are growing up in. The school system can be perfect and teachers can be a great sense of support for these children, but the difficulty lies in what type of environment the children are returning home to each and every day.

What is also upsetting is that since so many parents mistreat their children, neglect their children, or are working around the clock to provide for their families, the behaviors of so many children don’t meet what most schools would consider to be “ideal expectations” of how a child should act. For this reason, typical disciplinarian methods don’t always work. Unfortunately, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that the school’s disciplinarian (I believe every school here has one—or at least every public school) takes extreme methods to discipline the children when they “act out.” This intern told me that this particular school’s disciplinarian uses a garden hose to hit the children when they misbehave.

Again, so much of the necessary change needs to comes from the top down and from within the household, but unfortunately, this is much easier said than done. As frustrating as it is, I don’t have the solution or answer on how to go about making this change, but it’s something we need to be aware of. We never know what somebody may be going through or experiencing behind closed doors, so we cannot be quick to make our own conclusions or assumptions. Empathy can go a long way, and while it’s not the answer to a systemic problem that so desperately needs to change, I guess it’s something we will have to start with for now.

PASEO Program Adventure- Day 8: Trujillo, Peru

Seeing as we have the weekends free, some of the other students and I traveled to the Plaza de Armas of Trujillo in the afternoon. The main city square is home to a cathedral built in 1647. However, the cathedral was destroyed in 1759, and rebuilt shortly afterward. 

We made it just in time as the sun was beginning to set, which brought a special glow to the plaza. We concluded the afternoon by seeing Mujer Maravilla (Wonderwoman) completely in Spanish. It was definitely a unique experience, as evidenced by children running around the movie theatre, people answering phone calls, and a lady next to us helping her child with her homework (all throughout the movie). And after all this time, here I was thinking that my mom’s continuous questioning of “what just happened” during movies was irritating. I guess we have to face it that things can always be worse. But if these are the things we complain about in life, then we’re clearly not doing all that bad. 

PASEO Program Adventure- Day 5: Huanchaco, Peru

Today happened to be one of the calmer days in my schedule, so I’ll keep today’s post short, so as not to bore any reader more than usual. Today’s class focused on Spanish grammar, which I’m still trying to wrap my head around, so I’ll save that for another day. 

Upon waking up in the morning, I went to the local gym and purchased a month-long membership. I don’t know if there’s something in the food that’s promoting fitness, or the hard toilet paper that causes this motivation to be more active, but I promise I’m going somewhere with this train of thought. Self-care is an important facet of life that so many of us tend to overlook during our day-to-day hectic, jam-packed, stressful lives. (The list of adjectives could go on, but seeing as this is life and nearly everyone can relate, I think you get the point.)

If we don’t look out and care for ourselves, how can we expect to do so for others? If we are continuously running on empty each and every day, how can we realistically expect to give the most of ourselves to those around us? Think about it this way. If your child, parent, grandparent, significant other, or close friend spoke about feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, what would likely be your initial response? Probably something along the lines of, “You need to take some time for yourself to relax and do the things that you enjoy.” Tell me this. Why is this any different for us?

Why is it that more often than not, we are able to be a helping hand to those around us who are experiencing difficulties, yet we can’t find the means to give ourselves the same level of care and support? Granted, just about everything in life is easier said than done, but it’s truly interesting if we really take the time to think about it. If we can give such great advice to those around us, why can’t we do the same for ourselves? 

You’ll have to excuse the fact that this post is seemingly all over the place, but after testing out this new gym (which includes a personal trainer everyday), I feel sore in places I didn’t even know exist. Maybe that will explain the lack of organization and cohesiveness in today’s post, but there is a message (or at least I think there is). 

Think about advice you would give to a loved one. We each deserve that same level of care, support, and love in our lives as well. And somewhere along the way, it has to start with self-care and treating ourselves as well as we would tell loved ones to treat themselves. We need to make time for ourselves so that we don’t run on empty. Because as harsh as it may seem, no matter how hard we may try, we can’t be of any help to anyone else if we don’t help ourselves first. And with that, I’ll leave you with a picture of a dog sunbathing by the beach because even he knows the importance of self-care.