Rejection

Although nobody likes to admit it, the majority of us have faced rejection at some point or another in our lives. In my case, I had just moved to a new school for fifth grade, and already, the end of the school year was nearing. There was about a month or so left when the kids in my grade were told that an end-of-the-year party was going to be held in honor of our upcoming graduation. Many of the boys wanted to avoid going to the party alone, so they started asking some of the girls if they would go to the dance with them. I knew who I wanted to ask, but I was too nervous to even mention the party to her. However, in realizing that this would be perfect practice for a future prom, about two weeks before the party came around I was finally able to work up enough courage to ask Madison to the dance. A few friends and I were talking in the hallways in between classes, and even though my hands were shaking and I was more nervous than I could ever remember, I pulled Madison aside as everyone else started walking to class and I asked her to the dance. After what seemed like a dramatic pause, she said yes, and it was at that moment that fireworks started shooting off into the sky and a marching band began marching along the street. Well, at least that’s how I like to remember the story. We then split up to go to class, and that was that.

A few days later, I bumped into Madison, and she told me that she could no longer go to the dance with me. Although I shrugged it off as if it was no big deal, I was pretty upset and isolated myself from everyone and everything for the rest of the day. So much for my vision of a candlelight boat dinner before the big night! I didn’t know it at the time, but this was not the end of my life. About a week or so later, our principal made an announcement saying we weren’t allowed to ask anyone to the party because it wasn’t meant to be “that kind of dance.”

I recently blogged about overcoming the word “No,” and was asked by a follower how far I extend in my philosophy of using the word “No” as motivation to continue on seeking what it is we desire or wish to accomplish. I was looking for someone to challenge and question my statement, and I’m glad someone has.

Rejection is definitely an interesting subject to discuss since there are two sides of it. You can use it as motivation or you can sulk in it. We have all been in some sort of situation where we have gotten rejected from people, jobs, etc. and in my case, plenty of females. As difficult as it is to constantly believe this thought, I’m a strong advocate that everything happens for a reason. With that being said, maybe the people we are attracted to aren’t the right fit for us. Maybe we saved ourselves from a heartbreak down the road with someone who wasn’t going to be loyal or completely interested in being with us. There are so many “what ifs” to be thought of, but I honestly do think that these things happen for a reason. I’m not going to lie, the first time I was rejected by a girl in the fifth grade, I was devastated. When I came home from school that day, I jumped into bed and just laid there thinking that my life was over. A little bit drastic for a fifth grader, I know, but I quickly had to learn that rejection is something we’re all going to face at least one time or another in our lives, so better to get it out of the way at an early age. I hope this helps anyone in doubt or facing rejection, but if there’s anything to take out of this post it’s this: Life was never meant to be easy. Everyone faces trials and tribulations, and if you look close enough at that saying, you might even be able to see the word rejection written in between the lines. We’re bound to face rejection sometime or another in our lives, because let’s face it. Without it, life would just be too simple.

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15 comments on “Rejection

  1. This resonates! I agree; we need the rough stuff to strengthen us. We would be ‘floppy’ without it. As the mom of a young teen boy, I think that these situations are teachable moments too. Life can be hard. You will be dissapointed AND all WILL be well.

    I Really like this. Thank you!

    Peace, Jen

  2. chebandbecky says:

    I think it is easier if we realize that we are rejected for reasons that are not personal. We assume we know why people act a certain way, but we don’t. We can’t read minds, and people can’t read ours. We don’t know what happened during their day; a relative died, they were diagnosed with something terrible, their dog was put down, a parent yelled at them, and on.

    Stay strong by believing in yourself, and by understanding that people have bad days.

  3. Agree to disagree? Haha. Actually, no, I agree with what you and everyone here is saying – rejection IS a part of life, and it does in fact make you stronger. But as a natural pessimist, I’m not very good at tricking my mind into looking on the bright side. I can’t do that any more than I can force myself to grow red hair (my hair is black, FYI).

    Yeah, yeah, Debbie Downer, I know. But I swear, one of my New Year’s resolutions is to be more optimistic…

  4. Shira says:

    Hey Ethan it’s never too late! Everything that happens to us has a message within it – if you are looking you can usually spin it one of two ways: positive (what can I learn? how can I be better?) or negative (there I go again, this always happens to me)…I hope you can look on the bright side!

  5. Jane Thorne says:

    Dan what wisdom and insightful thinking..I love this post and yes everything does happen for a reason and everyone is operating from their own perspective. So the ‘rejection’ mostly has nothing to do with us and as we get further down the road we are grateful that things unfold as they do. It’s about learning to maintain our inner balance whilst living…tricky stuff but it makes for an interesting journey. I am following you on my RSS feed…keep writing, take care, Jane

    • danbalva says:

      Thanks Jane! I’m glad you liked the post, and I couldn’t agree more. Maintaining our inner balance whilst living does in fact make for an interesting journey, so there’s never a dull moment!

  6. Lisa at fLVE says:

    I agree that rejection is part of life and what we learn from that is from more important than getting “yes” all the time. I think with rejection, most of us learn to be more humble and to treat others better because “we” have been there. Doesn’t mean I don’t like having people saying yes to me though. 😉 but having people say no just makes me work harder. I am also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. As you get older, you will realize that sometimes that “no” maybe the best thing that happen to you. Great post! 🙂

  7. flagranny2 says:

    Thanks for the “like” on my post re “Moses bridge”

    Great post so sad that more people can’t embrace rejection as a motivation tool. I know for me if someone tells me I can’t do something I dig my feet in and give it all I’ve got and sometimes I win but if I lose at least I know I’ve given it my all.

  8. iamnotshe says:

    Hey, good to be hooked up with you. You certainly have got a good grasp on what to do with rejection. Especially in 5th grade! Kidding … but sweet boy, been there, done that.

    Rejection is one of the hardest things to be a “grown up” about. Excellent topic for tea time 😉 xoxo m

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